Huge Hugh!

Meet Huge Hugh. There is no ground underneath my feet. His breath smells like alcohol!  He makes me swallow my own thoughts. Shuts me up. Pushes my silence away. He sounds...well...always demeaning. His voice has a piercing sound in it. There is aggression in it too. He is suppressing en discouraging. Demanding perfectionism. Disguised as a grown up, a well educated wise man who KNOWS  what you don't know. Telling me what I can't do. Am incapable of. Most of the time I can sense his disapproval in his silence. He is a sexual and mental abuser. Who set the path I was going to follow. Programming me to trigger others like him. I meet him in other people. Male and female. Always with the same result. I used to get very small and helpless. I would swallow and give up.

Julia Cameron made me draw and name my inner critic on may 23 this year. Clear as hell I know who created him. As a good girl I invited him in. He got into my brain.

It's a very powerful tool. Identifying and name your inner critic. Often the critic comes from a person in your early childhood. You can boss your own critic around. Place him or her in the Hallway when you want to do something freely.

Very often coachees tell me that their inner critic means well. The nagging nitpicking type. Very often those critics become quiet when you prove to them that you are doing okay.

A funny thing happened. When I had drawn my inner critic I turned the page. The ink had pressed through the paper onto a drawing my daughter made of me lying in the sun.

Now what!?

I believe that you cannot think your Inner critic away. You cannot go into a discussion with it. The best you can do is make yourself feel better. Work on your self love, self worth and self respect. And behave yourself into new thinking.

Change your environment, clean house, empty your closets and dispose of low self worth clothing. Go to the hairdresser. If your surroundings contain friends with bad energy. Clean house in your environment. Get other friends that are good for you. Do all the things you are afraid of. Try new things. So you can be proud of yourself. Treat yourself well. And understand that your Inner critic, as real as he/she may feal and sound for you, is only a fragment of your immagination. You can transform the Inner critic into a helpful encouraging and supportive force. Your Inner friend.

More about the IC and how to deal with it in my next Blog.